Carpe diem

Cast your eyes on the ocean / Cast your soul to the sea / When the dark night seems endless / Please remember me...

Name:
Location: Bucharest, Romania

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Computers

A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.

A supercomputer is a computer that runs an endless loop in two seconds.

A very high phone bill indicates that your child is spending hours communicating with others computer users via modem – not necessary an illegal activity. It's the very low phone bills that you should watch for.

All computers wait at the same speed.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.

BorgDOG v6.0 – Assimilate Another [Y/n] ?

BREAKFAST.COM halted – cereal port not responding

CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today

Computers are like Old Testaments gods. Lots of rules and no mercy.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Computers are only human.

I em a wuunderfull spelur. I tipe vari gud two.

I finally found the ANY key!

Lyall's Conjecture: if a computer cable has one end, then it has another.

Microsecond: the time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier.

REALITY.SYS corrupted. Reboot UNIVERSE [Y/n] ?

!retupmoc siht edisni ma I !pleH

Smith & Wesson: The original point-and-click interface.

You don't have conversations with microprocessors. You tell them what to do, then helplessly watch the disaster when they take it literally!

Your brain knows a hell of a lot more about networking than you do.

A mistake is human, but you need a computer to make a mess of it.

Access denied – nah nah na nah nah!

And the RESET button lets you re-run AUTOEXEC.BAT
Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key.

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Error 13: Illegal brain function. User terminated.

Error: No keyboard – press F1 to continue.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

File not found, I'll load something *I* think is interesting.

Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.

Hit any user to continue.

I think I've got the hang of it now … :w :q :wq :wq! ^d X exit X Q :quitbye CtrlAltDel ~~q :~q logout/quit :!QUIT
^[zz ^[ZZ ZZZZ ^H ^@ ^L ^[c ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help helpquit ^D ^d ^C ^c helpexit ? Quit ?q ^Kx /QY sync halt
I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

In the future:
PC: "Are you sure you want to delete?"
User: "Well, I don't know. What do you think?"

Is your computer possesed? Use DEVICE=EXOR.SYS

Mouse not found! Click OK to continue.

My computer isn't that nervous … it's just a bit ANSI.

My configuration? A head, two arms and hands, two leggs …

NOT A VALID CENTURY

On a clear disk you can seek forever.

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

PENTIUM – Produces Enormous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics.

Press any key to continue, or any other key to quit …
Press [Esc] to detonate, or any other key to explode.

Printers generate errors. Errors you've never seen on screen suddenly appear on paper.

(R)etry (R)eset

RTFM: Read The Fucking Manual! …

SENILE.COM found… Out of Memory…

Shift key/ never heard of it1111

Somethingswrongwithmyspacebar

Stack Error: Lost on a cluttered desk…

This computer will self-destruct in five minutes.

What does "erasing of hard drive in progress" mean?

When all else fails, read the instructions.

Who is General Failure and why is reading my disk?

Beam me up… arrgh, no carrier!

We DON'T care. We don't HAVE to. We are the PHONE company!

Female Arts

Curs special pentru femei organizat de Ministeru’ Sanatatii
in colaborare cu Ministerul Educatiei si Invatamantului



Tema: Dezvoltarea functiunilor creierului la femeia moderna.

Scop: Participantele vor fi confruntate cu o experienta fascinanta (folosirea creierului).

Conditii: Vointa de a invata ceva nou (chiar daca se va dovedi a fi ceva greu)


Durata:
Brunete 1,5 luni fiecare modul
Roscate 3 luni fiecare modul
Blonde 6 luni fiecare modul
Cursul contine 4 module


Modulul I

1) Acceptarea soartei: m-am nascut femeie
2) Cunoasterea locului de desfasurare a vietii: bucataria
3) Cum pastrez ordinea in poseta? (sub control strict)
4) Cum fac cumparaturi in mai putin de 4 ore: notiuni elementare
5) Pastrarea limitelor: Cum ma machiez corect
6) Curs de programare I (toate categoriile): folosirea cuptorului cu microunde
7) Curs de programareII (numai brunetele si roscatele): Videorecorderul


Modulul II

1) Ecuatia cu o necunoscuta: Automobilul
2) Exercitii de dinamica grupului: Ce trebuie sa fac cand stam in masina
3) Parcarea, ParteaI: Notiuni elementare
4) Parcarea, Partea II: Manevre
5) O adevarata provocare: Frana si acceleratia.
6) Cutia de viteze. Descriere completa (pentru blonde numai cutia automata)
7) Folosirea corecta a semnalizatorului.
8) Notiuni elementare de fizica: Corpuri in miscare
9) Adevaruri optice: Luminile rosie, galbena si verde ale semaforului.
10) Curs special: Parcarea in garaj.
11) Ecuatia cu mai multe necunoscute: Cutia de scule
12) Curs de supravietuire I: Unde se afla lumina de avarie
13) Curs de supravietuire II: Schimbarea unui cauciuc
14) Curs de supravietuire III: Schimbarea mai multor cauciucuri
(Da, este posibil!!)
15) Curs de supravietuire IV: Verificarea cu succes a nivelului uleiului si a apei.


Modulul III

1)Notiuni elementare: Nici o cucerire a tehnicii moderne nu ma va putea ridica la nivelul barbatului
2) Vocabular I: Definitia cuvantului "DA". Corectarea exercitiului "Esti gata?"
3) Vocabular II: Definitia notiunii "5 Minute"
4) Sociologie: Fotbalul nu este un sport ci o religie.
5) Drept cetatenesc si morala I: Discutiile barbatilor despre tema fotbal
6) Drept cetatenesc si morala II: A nu te amesteca nicicodata in aceste discutii
7) Cum evit intrebarile inutile (de ex. "Ma iubesti?", "Sunt frumoasa?", "Am ceva special?")
Adevaruri zilnice: Si femeile ragaie, exercitii in grup.
9) Adevaruri zilnice: Barbieritul (curs intensiv pentru brunete): Partea barbateasca a femeii
10) Comportamentul la cumparaturi: Cardul Visa, Definirea notiunii de limita de suma
11) Comportamentul la cumparaturi: Si eu pot cara naveta de bere
12) De ce mama nu e binevenita la noi? (1000 de studii de caz)


Modulul IV

1) Telefonul: Cand trebuie sa inchid? Exercitii de grup: 4 femei/telefon (nu uitati sacul de dormit)
2) Machiajul: Metamorfoza femeii
3) Terapie TV I: Si fara telenovele se poate trai!
4) Terapie TV II: Filmele de dragoste sunt pura fictiune si nu realitate
5) Eu si corpul meu: Legea gravitatiei
6) Oglinzile nu mint: Ma accept asa cum sunt.

Male Arts

For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage...


TWO YEAR DEGREE
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be interested in: Becoming a Real Man.
That's right, in just six mini-mesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn a MA degree > (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.


FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
MEN 101:Combating Stupidity
MEN 102:You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103:PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104:We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas

Winter Schedule:
MEN 110:Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111:Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112:Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
EAT 100:Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101:Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A:What's Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:
MEN 120:How NOT to Act Like a Butt face When You're Wrong
MEN 121:Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122:YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123:Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C:What Was Yours is Hers


SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
SEX 101:You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102:Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
SEX 103:How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201:How to Put the Toilet Seat Down

(Elective)
(See Electives Below)


Winter Schedule:
MEN 210:The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211:How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212:You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213:Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise
MEN 230A:Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220:Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221:Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222:Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223:Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B:Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

Course Electives:
EAT 101:Cooking with Tofu
EAT 102:Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103:Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231:Mothers-in-law
MEN 232:Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233:Just Say "Yes, Dear"
ECON 001C:Cheaper to Keep Her


Just a thought for all the women out there.
*MENtal illness
*MENstrual cramps
*MENtal breakdown
*MENopause
*GUYnocologist (poetic > spelling)
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?

Send this to all of the women you know (and men with a sense of humor) and brighten their day!!!...and when we have real trouble, it's a HISterectomy....hihihi

Man vs Woman

When a woman wears his clothes she's in love;
when a man wears her clothes he needs professional help.

Women look in the mirror and see flaws;
men look in the mirror and see why women find them fascinating.

Women cry at the movies because they're in touch with their feelings;
men cry at the movies because they're not.

Women see a half-empty gas tank;
men see more than enough gas though the gauge reads empty.

Women wear basic black because:
1) it makes them look thinner;
2) it goes with everything else they own;
3) it's sexy.
Men wear basic black because it hides the dirt.

A woman knows all his specifics, right down to his watchband size.
A man has a rough idea of her height and the size of her chest, but can't remember exactly what color her eyes are.

Men forget women's birthdays;
women forget how old they are.

At work, women take orders from men.
At work, men take suggestions from women.

A woman will ask a man if she looks fat;
a man will never ask a woman if he looks bald.

Men argue and five minutes later it's forgotten and they're best friends again.
Women argue and then brood over it for months.

When women say ''I'm sorry,'' and they say it constantly, it's usually automatic, mindless, a bad habit.
On the rare occasions men say they're sorry, they really mean it.

Women know when it's over;
men stick around until they're asked to leave.

A woman will write a cheque for $2.37 at the supermarket.
A man would rather starve.

Men talk about themselves endlessly;
women talk about men endlessly.

Men put their mistakes behind them.
Women relive their mistakes over and over again until they die of embarassment.

Women name their cars;
men name their penises.

Men play to win;
women play to play.

Women believe in maps;
men believe in their sense of direction.

Men think women have no sense of humour.
Women think men have no idea how funny male behaviour is.

Men drink beer because that's what men do.
Women drink beer because there's nothing else available to drink.

When a woman says ''I'll call you'' it means she'll call you.
When a man says ''I'll call you'' it could mean anything.

Women want to share feelings;
men want to share pizza.

A man will give up drinking and lose 10 pounds in three days.
A woman will give up eating and gain 5 pounds in two days.

Men jump to conclusions.
Women consider things forever, from every possible angle, and still can't decide.

Women know they're at the mercy of their biological clocks.
Men are sure they have all the time in the world.

A woman will recork a bottle that holds half a glass of wine.
A man will finish off the bottle.

Women love to send greeting cards.
Men aren't sure what greeting cards are for, exactly.

Men are attracted to younger women because they want to feel like kids again.
Women wish men would grow up and act their age.

A woman thinks she's saving money if she goes to a sale and buys something she doesn't need.
A man won't go to the sale.

Women think good sex is an integral part of a relationship.
Men think sex is an integral part of a relationship.

Men stereotype women.
Women generalize about men.

Upgrade

GHID DE INSTALARE

Anul trecut unul dintre prietenii mei s-a decis sa faca up-grade-ul de la Prietena 8.0 la Nevasta 1.0 si a realizat ca aceasta duce la un consum exagerat de memorie, lasand sistemului extrem de putine resurse disponibile pentru alte aplicatii.

El a observat de asemenea ca Nevasta 1.0 doreste din rasputeri sa se perpetueze (asemanator unui virus), ceea ce consuma de asemenea resurse deosebit de valoroase.

Nici o mentiune a acestui fenomen particular nu a fost inclusa in brosura produsului si nici in documentatie, chiar daca alti utilizatori l-au informat ca era un lucru la care trebuia sa se astepte datorita naturii acestei aplicatii.

Dar nu este doar atat, Nevasta 1.0 se instaleaza de una singura in asa fel incat se lanseaza singura la initializarea sistemului, de unde poate monitoriza toate celelalte activitati ale acestuia.

El a observat cu tristete ca alte aplicatii cum ar fi PokerNight 10.06, BeerParty 5.5, si Noaptea-n Bar 7.7 nu mai pot rula in sistem deoarece il fac sa se blocheze cand sunt selectate, desi inainte mergeau de minune.

In timpul instalarii Nevasta 1.0 nu atentioneaza asupra instalarii simultane a unor plug-in-uri nedorite precum Soacra 55.8 respectiv Cumnatul 16.1 in versiune Beta.

De asemenea si performanta sistemului se pare ca se diminueaza cu fiecare zi ce trece. Iata cateva facilitati pe care le-ar dori in urmatoarea versiune, Nevasta 2.0:

* Un buton "Nu mai spune asta inca o data!"

* Un buton de minimizare disponibil la fiecare rulare a programului

* Programul de instalare sa aiba doua optiuni, una care sa permita dezinstalarea ulterioara in orice moment fara pierderea de cache sau de alte resurse ale sistemului si alta care sa permita rularea driverului de retea, fapt ce ar permite sondei hardware a sistemului sa poata fi utilizata.

Eu insumi m-am decis sa evit durerile de cap asociate cu Nevasta 1.0 si am pastrat inca Prietena 9.0. Oricum, chiar si aici am gasit multe probleme.

Se pare ca nu se poate instala Prietena 9.0 peste Nevasta 1.0. Trebuie neaparat sa dezinstalezi mai intai Nevasta 1.0. Alti utilizatori spun ca acesta este un vechi bug de care ar fi trebuit sa stiu.

Este clar ca toate versiunile de Prietene au conflicte pe utilizarea comuna a portului I/O . Ca lucrurile sa fie si mai rele nici programul de dezinstalare pentru Prietena 8.0 nu functioneaza prea bine, lasand urme nedorite ale aplicatiei in sistem.

In plus toate versiunile existente de Prietene continua sa lanseze mesaje deranjante (chiar si dupa dezinstalare!) privind avantajele upgrade-ului la Nevasta 1.0 ...


***** BUG WARNING *****

Nevasta 1.0 mai are un alt bug nedocumentat. Daca incerci sa instalezi Amanta 1.1 inainte de a dezinstala Nevasta 1.0, Nevasta 1.0 va sterge fisierele MSMoney inainte de a se dezinstala singura. Si apoi....Amanta 1.1 va refuza sa se instaleze, pretextand ca sistemul are resurse insuficiente.

***** EVITAREA BUG-ULUI *****

Pentru a evita acest bug, incercati sa instalati Amanta 1.1 pe un sistem diferit si nu rulati vreodata aplicatii de transfer de fisiere intre cele doua sisteme.

De asemenea, aveti grija cu aplicatiile freeware sau shareware similare pentru ca se stie ca sunt purtatoare de virusi ce pot afecta Nevasta 1.0.

! H-A-V-E A N-I-C-E D-A-Y !

103 procent

How you can achieve 103%!

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants "more than 100%."
Well here's how you do that. Here's how you can achieve 103%.
First of all,here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future.
How does one achieve 100% in LIFE? Begin by noting the following.
IF :
A = 1
B = 2
C = 3
D = 4
E = 5
F = 6
G = 7
H = 8
I = 9
J = 10
K = 11
L = 12
M = 13
N = 14
O = 15
P = 16
Q = 17
R = 18
S = 19
T = 20
U = 21
V = 22
W = 23
X = 24
Y = 25
Z = 26

Then:

H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = Only 98%

Similarly,

K N O W L E D G E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = Only 96%

But interesting (and as you'd expect),

A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%.....

This is how you achieve 100% in LIFE.

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO NOTE (or REALIZE), is

B U L L S H I T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

So now you know what all those high-priced consultants, upper management, and motivational speakers really mean when they want to exceed 100%!

Woman Analysis

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40 - 200 kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

Physical properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore
6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points

Chemical Properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
3. Very effective cleaning agent

Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

Potential Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do no come into direct contact with each other

WARNING:
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE

Aquarius

20 IANUARIE - 18 FEBRUARIE

VARSATORUL – Semn de aer, fix (stabilitate), masculin (extrovertit), dominat de planetele Saturn si Uranus. Reprezinta picioarele Marelui Om, ceea ce semnifica functiile locomotorii ale omului.

Piatra pretioasa: granatul, ametistul

Zi norocoasa: miercuri

Numere norocoase: 4 si 8

Culoare: albastru si verde

Metal: uraniul

Locuri prielnice: cele aglomerate, indeosebi orase

Verb reprezentativ: "a sti"

Aspectul fizic: statura mijlocie ori inalta, corp bine proportionat, figura prelunga cu un ten foarte curat, poate fi uneori foarte atragator.

Zone erogene: gambele indeosebi, picioarele in general

Acest om simbolizeaza colectivitatea, fraternitatea intre oameni si comunicativitatea. Nativii sunt idealisti si sensibili, emotivi si cam extremisti in ceea ce priveste afectele lor, in sensul ca pot trece de la disperarea cea mai neagra la inflacarare si optimism contagios. Pentru fiecare reprezentant al acestei zodii conteaza foarte mult libertatea sa si implicit a altora, atat fizica cat mai ales spirituala. Aceasta le este conaturala si este poate partea lor ce mai pregnanta, mai ales in relatiile sociale, unde in general nu suporta constrangerile absurde. Aceasta nu inseamna insa ca nu-si asuma responsabilitati.

Varsatorul este un tip foarte ingenios si priceput si e nascut sa fie inventator. Tot ce face e usor manevrabil si foarte util. Femeia acestui semn e recunoscuta in general dupa indemanarea cu care confectioneaza anumite obiecte necesare unui camin bine organizat. Independenti si activi, independenti si activi ei simt permanent nevoia de a face ceva util si e masura aptitudinilor pe care le au. Uneori insa le pare ca sunt nedreptatiti (ceea ce poate fi adevarat) si se cufunda intr-o apatie, din care vor iesi mai devreme sau mai tarziu cu forte reinnoite. Sentimentali, sensibili si emotivi, nu pun un pret exagerat pe viata lor sexuala, preferand sa vada un om dincolo de aspectul sau fizic, in latura sa intelectuala si afectiva, si sa-i descopere calitati care sa-l faca un viitor bun prieten.

Idealist, poate apare de multe ori ca o fire boema, neorganizata, refractara la o autoritate de tip burghez. De asemenea, aparentele il arata ca pe un individ bland, calin chiar, aceasta nefiind insa decat o masca pentru impetuozitatea si taria hotararilor sale. Nu e mai putin adevarat insa ca stie foarte bine sa fie delicat si sa dea dovada de tact, pentru a nu mai vorbi de permanenta sa nevoie de a se devota - calitati care toate la un loc il fac un prieten si un coleg de neinlocuit. Desi in esenta sunt avangardisti in tot ce intreprind, nu se poate trece ce vederea un anumit traditionalism, care ii face de multe ori sa apare arhaici, demodati. Morala lor este rigida, puritana, iar vederile lor in acest domeniu pot fi foarte inguste.

Varsatorul este un exemplar in ceea ce priveste perseverenta si se va orienta cu frenezie spre activitati creatoare - valorificandu-si ideile,deseori geniale - sau umanitare - avand la baza un puternic spirit de devotiune si respectul profund pentru libertatea semenului sau.Cum orice medalie isi are si reversul sau, ei pot deveni violenti si agresivi in anumite imprejurari negavorabile si atunci tenacitatea ii face adversari de temut. Isi iubesc mult copiii, insa nu vor deveni prea posesivi, ci vor prefera intotdeauna sa-i lase in libertate. Ei insa nu fac altceva decat sa aplice in continuare, intr-un mod extins, conceptia lor generala despre viata si lume. Isi fac usor prieteni si relatii datorita firii lor deschise spre social, spre celalalt, imprimand tuturor acestor raporturi un caracater amical, deschis, si ajungand foarte apreciati de catre ceilalti.

Profesii:

Meseriile spre care se orienteaza sunt cele precumpanitor spirituale si mai putin cele fizice: savanti, scriitori, artisti, de foarte multe ori straluciti. Ii pasioneaza de asemenea tot ceea ce tine de mecanica si interesul lor poate trece si asupra sporturilor care au tangenta cu acest domeniu insa rar se aventureaza in sporturile ce presupun o intensa cultura fizica. Domeniul electronicii este si el fara mari secrete pentru nativ, ca si psihologia. Se poate pasiona de lucrurile oculte, misteriose, cu aplicatii in stiintele de frontiera.

Boli:

Cum varsatorul vizeaza sistemul locomotor al omului, afectiunile de care poate suferi se localizeaza preponderent la glezne, precum si la sistemul nervos si circulatia sanguina, ceea ce inseamna: boli nervoase, artrite, varice, entorse, fracturi.

Barbatul varsator:

Aspectul sau fizic poate fi sintetizat prin a spune ca este in general inalt, cu trasaturi usor efeminate, cu ochi frumosi si nelinistiti. Nobil, original si de aceea neinteles adesea, este un tip amabil, generos si care nu cunoaste furtunile sentimentale, valurile agitate ale pasiunii si geloziei. Nonconformist, antiburghez, isi interiorizeaza reveriile, ceea ce din exterior ii da uneori un aer ciudat. Loial in casnicie, ceea ce conteaza pentru el in ceea ce priveste jumatatea sa este ca aceasta sa-i fie o adevarata prietena, care sa resplateasca prin reciprocitate decotiunea si abnegatia sa in sanul familiei.

Rareori si in cine stie ce imprejurare deosebita vom inalni un barbat din aceasta zodie care sa fie vulgar in vorba, gest sau fapta. Aceasta trasatura ii este cu desavarsire straina.Norocos, idealist si nu foarte practic, foarte imprevizibil si contradictoriu, plin de surprize, generos dar nu cheltuitor cu femeile, putin ipohndru si in orice caz, chinuit de cele mai diverse fobii, barbatul varsator este o personalitate adesea fascinanta.

Femeia varsator:

Plina de farmec, este svelta, bine facuta, cu picioare frumose si o voce foarte placuta, cu ochii frumosi. Asemeni tuturor nativilor ea este mereu in avangarda, indreptata spre tot ce e nou si original. Viitorul si-l aseaza constant sub ochi iar mentalitatea sa e in stransa legatura cu aceasta conceptie. Draguta, amabila si miloasa, extrem de prietenoasa, este cu toate acestea o fire independenta. Reveriile sale ii creaza o atmosfera aparte, specifica. Niciodata infocata in dragoste, nu-si pierde capul si nu-si reprima personalitatea in aceasta situatie. Dealtfel, ca ratiunea e atotstapanitoare la aceasta femeie se poate vedea si din eruditia ei deosebita, ce o face nu numai agreabila si mondena, dar si foarte interesanta intr-o conversatie purtata pe diverse teme. Isi creste foarte bine copiii, acordandu-le o mare libertate, intelegere, blandete.

Casa sa e excelent organizata si oricine se casatoreste cu o varsatoare nu are ce sa-i reproseze in ceea ce priveste calitatile sale de sotie sau de gospodina. In general sfaturile pe care le imparte cu obisnuita-i cenerozitate merita a fi urmate, caci sunt foarte inspirate. Stie sa se distreze si e mult mai atrasa de compania barbatilor decat de cea a femeilor. Cu toate acestea se casatoreste destul de tarziu. Fidela in casatorie, rar va calca pe alaturi. Are nevoie insa de admiratie, indeosebi in ceea ce priveste corpul ei. Uneori irascibila, cicalitoare si cheltuitoare, ea e in general simpatica si agreabila, o companie placuta, loiala si interesanta.

Copilul varsator:

Linistiti si dificili in acelasi timp, pentru ca apar ca enigmatici, interiorizati, chiar excentrici. Nu sunt intotdeauna lesne de inteles si au tendinta de a se izola fata de parinti si de a le ascunde ocupatiile lor curente, interesul pentru diverse probleme, neavand incredere in capacitatea adultilor de a le intelege gandurile iscoditoare si permanent alertate de cate un lucru nou.

Le place natura, iubesc animalele si adora jucariile mecanice. Jocurile lor sunt inventive si exacte, creative si pline de imaginatie, usor misterioase. Suporta greu autoritatea normativa, cu timpul insa, spre maturitate, devin mai maleabili si mai supusi conventiilor sociale. Isi doresc sa ajunga exploratori pe taramuri necunoscute, arheologi, astrologi - de regula in domenii mai iesite din comun si de avangarda.

Seful varsator:

Rar ajunge intr-o astfel de functie pentru ca se impaca greu cu rutina unui asemenea mod de viata si are nevoie de libertate pentru a se manifesta. Cand ajunge insa, devine repede indispensabil si se indreapta sigur si programatic spre succes. Care sunt calitatile care il fac pe varsator un sef atat de capabil? In primul rand se bazeaza foarte mult pe intuitia sa, secundata de simtul proportiilor si de exactitate. E un tip increzator
in oameni, care nu se cramponeaza de greselile lor si le vede in general partile bune - ceea ce e in general deosebit de stimulator pentru subalterni. Prietenos cu toata lumea, stie insa sa spuna "nu" atunci cand e cazul. O mare calitate a sa este aceea de a fi vizionar. Da multe ordine aparent ciudate, daca nu contradictorii cel putin de neinteles, pana cand intr-o zi le vezi in sfarsit finalitatea si sensul, care sunt intotdeauna bine gandite. Prietenos si misterios in acelasi timp - iata un prototip de sef destul de ciudat si rar intalnit.

Subalternul varsator:

Farte inteligent, misterios, original si de neinteles de multe ori, toate acestea neimpiedicand-ul sa fie foarte constiincios si un bun executant. Felul sau de a duce o sarcina la bun sfarsit e adesea straniu dar ceea ce conteaza in fond e rezultatul, care aproape intotdeauna e pozitiv. Incearca multe locuri si meserii pana sa gaseasca ceea ce-i convine, caci simtul sau de libertate e foarte dezvoltat si trebuie sa-si asigure si celelalte interese private de umanitarist, inventator ori cercetator. Studiaza la rece oamenii si e foarte am abil cu colegii, iar femeilor le inspira sentimente materne. E sobru, modest, timid uneori si de regula nu prea glumeste; sentimental, intuitiv, cu o memorie fantastica. Exista doua feluri de varsatori subalterni: unii boemi, altruisti, idealisti si prea putin pragmatici, ceilalti cumsecade, meditativi, originali, usor maniaci, timizi si misteriosi. Si unii si altii au un punct comun: sunt singuratici.

Cum sa incepi o relatie cu un varsator:

Un nativ din aceasta zodie trebuie admirat in primul rand, pentru a intra in gratiile sale. Urmatorul pas este de a va arata erudit si de a purta discutii interesante cu el, pe orice tema, de preferat in domenii avangardiste sau oculte. Trebuie sa-l amuzati, sa afisati un entuziasm contagios si sa dovediti ca aveti idei largi, generoase, pastrand insa o nota de bun simt. Nu fiti filistin - nu-i plac burghezii. Mai ales aveti grija de a nu fi prea posesiv, altfel va avea impresia ca atentati la mult prea pretioasa sa libertate.

Cum sa sfarsesti o relatie cu un varsator:

Faceti-i observatii critice, nedreptatiti-l printr-o gelozie care oricum e rau plasata, tineti-l din scurt intr-o posesiune sufocanta. Vulgaritatea il deranjeaza de asemenea foarte mult. Fiti imbufnat, mohorat, neprietenos; mai devreme sau mai tarziu va pleca singur, definitiv.

Raporturile varsatorului cu alte semne:

Varsator-Berbec: Se pot intelege bine amandoi, cu conditia ca berbecul puternic si impulsiv sa nu incalce in mod ilegal teritoriul varsatorului insetat de libertate. Realatia erotico-sexuala e oricum foarte buna, amandoi avand in comun fantezia. Totusi exista un anumit risc; varsatorul va fi intotdeauna nelinistit de cate ceva iar berbecul va fi instabil si agitat - si fe aici se vor ivi probleme ca pot deveni grave.

Varsator-Taur: Temperamente total diferite. Primul e prea activ, imprevizibil si are prea multe ocupatii dincolo de perimetrul caminului pentru gustul taurului, care e mult mai legat de casa, mai stabil si mai lent. Taurul e prea senzual pentru varsator. Ultimul doreste in sot un prieten, taurul vede in acesta un partener de viata, de care sa fie strans legat.

Varsator-Gemeni: Partenerul din gemeni este foarte bun pentru varsator; amandoi sunt putin posesivi si nesufocanti, nu acorda mare atentie sexualitatii si au multe in comun. Gemenii agreaza imprevizibilitatea celuilalt si ambilor le place mult schimbarea.

Varsator-Rac: Primul e prea sociabil pentru gustul racului, care e mai familist si mai rezervat. Varsatorul e de asemenea expansiv, ceea ce celui de-al doilea i se va parea a fi o risipire fara sens. Racul este foarte sensibil si aceast lucru vine in conflict cu judecata rece a varsatorului. Daca exista, casnicia va fi cu mari probleme.

Varsator-Leu: Aceasta e o relatie destul de controversata pentru a fi certa, intr-un sens sau altul. Pe de o parte imprevizibilul varsator il va incanta pe leul doritor de surprize. Va exista de asemenea un respect reciproc pentru calitatile pe care le are fiecare. La un moment dat insa pot apare conflicte legate de dorinta de suprematie a leului si de cea de libertate a varsatorului.

Varsator-Fecioara: Fecioara e prea ordonata, precisa si sistematica pentru varsator. Exista totusi o sansa atunci cand provin din aceleasi medii culturale, profesionale sau de alta natura. Poate exista o atractie initiala, fara nici un continut sexual, cu timpul insa relatia devine ori foarte plicticoasa , ori foarte tensionata.

Varsator-Balanta: Relatie si casnicie ideale. Ambii iubesc societatea, luxul, arta, petrecerile mondene. Mari complementaritati si o intelegere pe plan fizic perfecta. Uneori insa varsatorul simte nevoia de a fi singur, iar balanta trebuie sa inteleaga acest lucru. Ambii sunt intelectuali si stralucitori in anturajele lor. Aceasta este combinatia perfecta.

Varsator-Scorpion: Scorpionul e prea pasioal si prea posesiv pentru recele si rebelul varsator. Exista doar o atractie fizica, insa spiritual e cam greu sa se inteleaga; se pot obisnui pana la urma unul cu celalalt. Casnicia are toate sansele de a fi conflictuala.

Varsator-Sagetator: Se inteleg perfect, fiecare intuind particularitatile celuilalt. Ambilor le place schimbarea produsa in urma unei emotii sau a unei calatorii. Si pe plan fizic e o mare atractie intre ei. Vor avea o lunga si fericita relatie.

Varsator-Capricorn: Ultimul e prea lent, prea legat de camin, prea constant si prea rigid pentru imprevizibilul si prea putin casnicul varsator. Temperamente mult prea diferite. Nimic bun in aceasta relatie, pe nici un plan.

Varsator-Varsator: Relatie exceptionala, minunata. Se inteleg excelent si vor fi fericiti, traind intr-o armonie deplina. Totul e intre ei la superlativ.

Varsator-Pesti: Ambii au compasiune pentru ceilalti si un spirit umanitar, ceea ce poate fi o buna baza de plecare. Totusi varsatorul il nelinisteste profund pe celalalt. Depinde de ei daca relatia va fi un esec sau un succes din ce in ce mai evident.

Bucharest

Founded in 1459, on the banks of the Dambovita River, by ruler Vlad Tepes, Bucharest become later the capital city of the Princely Court. The tradition connects the founding of Bucharest with the name of Bucur who was either a princely person, an outlaw, a fisher or a shepherd according to different legends. But a fact doubtless: the name of Bucur is of a Thracian-Geto-Dacian origin. The name of Bucharest (Bucuresti) remembers the Romanian word "bucurie" (gladness), and this town had, like many European metropoles, decades of gladness, greatness, and sorrow too.

Bucharest proved it is a great European metropole many years ago. In 1701-1702, Sword bearer Mihai Cantacuzino built the Coltea Monastery with "an infirmary and a house for foreigners, for the resting and caress, in Christ, of our poor brothers who are ill", with 12 beds for men and 12 beds for women, free of charge. It was the first "hospital" in Bucharest, situated on the place of the modern on of our days in downtown. In 1857 the building of the Palace of Academy, the future University. started using the projects of arch. Alexandru Orascu. Bucharest is permanent in front of progress. It has gas lamps in 1861 before Paris and Berlin. In 1864, its Townhall was founded by law. On January, 1st, 1871, the street lighting with coal gas made by a factory in Filaret was installed. In the same time, in Bucharest, the first vehicles of public transport started to run: tramcar (1871) and horse trams (1872).

The first commercial and handicraft frequented place of the town is "the Great Street" - the Lipscani Street at present dated in a document from June, 5th, 1589. The archaeological discoveries done in Hanul cu Tei, in the basement of the Gabroveni Inn -and in the Lipscani Passage prove this zone was inhabited since the XVth century. The Lipscani is a famous street in the historic downtown of Bucharest only a few meters far from the Kilometer number 0 of Romanian Capital. The Lipsca is apparently the Romanian transcription of the name of Leipzig. and Lipscani was the name of the merchants who sold goods imported from Leipzig. In our days it is an important commercial street which crosses other little streets named after different old professions: "The big Street of Saddlers" (where saddles, reins and harnesses were made). "The Street of Locksmithes" a.o.

The town is also a cultural European town and from this its name of "The Little Paris". There are artistic and literary rooms and the famest is Princess Bibescu's. The population of Bucharest was of a quarter of the one of Paris. Now in Bucharest more than two million peoples live.

In the second half of the XIXth century and early in the XXth century, important buildings are built: the National Bank (1883-1885), Foisorul de Foc (the Firemen's Tower) (1892-1893), the Museum of the Romanian Literature (1873), the Romanian Academy (1890), the Justice Palace (1890-1895), "Gh. Lazar" Lycee (1 890), the Northern Railway Station (1868-1872), the Parliament Palace on the Hill of Metropolitan Church (1907), "Grigore Antipa" Museum (1908). In 1935 the Triumph Arch (27 m in high) is builit on the nice Kiseleff Avenue which is longer than Champs Elysees in Paris.

The II WW, failure of monarchy, and the communist regime succeded. During this period of time, some residential districts for workers were built. The earthquake in 1977 forced the building of some new piles of buildings in downtown. In the Union Square numerous blocks of flats with rooms were built on the Union Boulevard (the one to the former People's House, the Parliament building now).

Bucharest is a real garden-town with a varied architecture. From this point of view the Cismigiu is a reference point. Here, in this park created in 1860, with its lawns and status, there is a nice and old-fashion atmosphere. This is the favorite walking place of Bucharest's in summer. It is situated by the main boulevards, the Dambovita River and huge civic center.

The boulevards of Bucharest are cut from the North to the South and from the East to the West. but not very straight. The Victory Road is the vertebral column of Bucharest. The Victory Road! It's the axle of the wheel of this town. The Victory Road is the former Podul Mogosoaiei. Why this name? Because in 1692, ruler Constantin Brancoveanu built this wood floored road between his palace in Bucharest and his castle in Mogosoaia. Along this road there are very interesting building. The Stavrapoleos Church is a real jewel. The young Greek monk Ioanichie leaves the Goura Monastery and comes in Bucharest. In 1722 he bought the ground and builds the Stavropoleos Church (October, 30th, 1724). In 1894, ar chitect Savulescu starts the building of the Post Palace (now it is the National History Museum). The building was opened in 1900, in autumn. It has a surface of 8000 sq.m, costed over 4000000 Lei in gold and it looks like the Federal Post Palace in Geneve. Over 128 years, Capsa was more than a hotel, a confectionery and a cafe'. In a way, it was the hub of our country and its alive chronicle. At Capsa, evening by evening, the fashionable world (actors, critics, writers, painters) of Bucharest met.

In 1878, a large-hearted Romanian returned from Athens, where he has been a diplomatic agent, wanted to build a "home of arts" with a concert hall, exhibition halls, library and a picture gallery in Bucharest. The Athenaeum. The name of this Romanian was Constantin Exarcu. He was helpt by Scarlat Rosetti, V.A. Urechia, Nicolae Kretzulescu a.o. They decided to built the Athenaeum with French architect Albert Galleron who built also the National Bank of Romania. The expenses over-fulfilled the the money they have had. So they initiated a public collection with the motto: "Give one Leu for the Athenaeum". So, in 1888 the Romanian Athenaeum was finished. A happy joining between Rome and Athens, with its facade inspired by Erehteion, the wings of the Sibyle Temple in Tivoli and the crowning of the Lisicrat Monument. the Athenaeum was. is and will be for a long time the landmark of Bucharest like the Eiffel Tower for Paris, the Sant Angelo Castle for Rome and the Parliament building for London. At his death, Constantin Exarcu left its fortune to the Romanian Athenaeum. Here in Exarcu's Athenaeum Hubermann, Kubelik, Enescu and Voicu, Sauer, Paderewski and Ursuleasa played violin and piano, Cortez, Nicolesco and Carusso sang. Celibidache conducted, and in the exhibition halls, generations by generations, Romanian painters and sculptors exhibited their works.

The Gen. Gh. Magheru Boulevard, parallel with the Victory Road, is relatively short. Its buildings from the 30' host tourist agencies, airways companies, shops, restaurants, cinemas and de luxe hotels. It is continued by the Nicolae Balcescu street with buildings in the Second Empire style. Also here there is the modern tower of the Intercontinental Hotel, and closed to it, The National Theatre and University.

The old town is still a part of Bucharest. Try to find the ruins of the Old Court (former Princely Court of Vlad Tepes) which is now an open-air museum, build 1936 and its little church dating from the XVI-th century, on the Iuliu Maniu Street. Near by it there is the famous Manuc's Inn, a former caravanserai, built in 1808 and reopened as a hotel-restaurant. The Patriarchate Church, situated on the Union Boulevard was built in 1657.

The museums in Bucharest are rich. The Village Museum - an open-air museum - is situated in the Herastrau Park, near by the Triumph Arch. On a surface of 15 ha, by the lake, there are 198 buildings of authentic peasant's architecture from all over Romania. Other important museums are: the National Art Museum, the Museum of Art Collections, Cotroceni National Museum, the National History Museum, National Since Museum and National Peasan Museum which keeps the gold, silver and jewels of the Treasure.

The name of "the Little Paris" was given to Bucharest thanks to its artistic life offered by Opera House, Operetta Theatre, the National, Bulandra, Nottara Theatres, the "George Enescu" Philharmonic Orchestra, a.o.

In the evening, the bars and restaurants, clubs and cabarets wake up. Bucharest is the European town with the most numerous casinos. The Bucharesters, like all Romanians, are kind, gladly and like to have fun. Near by them or togather you can have fun too.

Bucharest has two airports, the Baneasa, for domestic flies and the Otopeni for the international and domestic flies, as well five railway stations, the main being the Northern Railway Station.

The four metro lines - Ml, M2, M3, M4 - cover the whole town.

Not the least, we have to mention that Bucharest is an important economic centre - 15 percent of the national potential being here.

Bucharest is surrounded by lakes and forests with old palaces and monsteries situated near by them. The Snagov Monastery (1404) situated on an island of the Snagov Lake, is a favorite place of Bucharest's. At 14 km far from Bucharest there is the wonderful Mogosoaia Palace built in the XVIIIth century former residence of ruler Constantin Brancoveanu who gave his name to a Romanian style which combines baroque and Renaissance elements of architecture. A point of attraction is also the Caldarusani Monastery - situated 40 km far from Bucharest - built by ruler Matei Basarab in 1638 and later painted by Nicolae Grigorescu. The pile of buildings from Cernica consists in two churches and a chapel painted by Gh. Tatarescu dating from the first decade of the XIXth century. The Museum of this monastery has valuable and old art and religious objects, manuscripts and icons.

Fortuna

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Some people live in the past, some spend there whole lives trying to predict the future... I myself think that we should all live in the moment, setting our future, and leaving our past where it belongs... in the past...

Don't take life too serious. You'll never escape it alive anyway.

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

There are two kinds of truth: the truth that lights the way and the truth that warms the heart. The first of these is science, and the second is art. Neither is independent of the other or more important than the other. Without art, science would be as useless as a pair of high forceps in the hands of a plumber. Without science, art would become a crude mess of folklore and emotional quakery. The truth of art keeps science from becoming inhuman and the truth of science keeps art from becoming ridiculous.

Yes. I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punnishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

It's funny how when were children, all we want to do is grow up, but when we're older and grown up, we wish the world was as simple and innocent as it were when we were a child.